


new york, i love you (but you're bringing me down)

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Break Up, Depression, Guilt, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Break Up, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Verbal Abuse, suicide baiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 02:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17417321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Stevie, please, just listen,” Tony pleads. Steve flinches at the nickname.“Don’t call me that,” he snaps. “I didn’t like it when we were together, and I don’t like it now.” There’s a brief pause where Steve tries to settle his unease. The joke should have come by now. He’s never heard Tony sound so serious, and he doesn’t like it. He needs to hear the punchline. The Tony he knows is quick as a whip, and he would never let Steve snap at him like that without saying his piece. He even thinks he hears a muffled sob, but that can’t be right. He’s known Tony for almost 8 years without ever seeing him cry.“You promised,” Tony says desperately, and the fact that he’s crying is unmistakable now. “You promised you’d be there if I needed you.”“I’m sorry,” Steve says, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can’t say why he’s apologizing, other than that he’s shaken. “I did promise. I’m here. What’s going on?”Title Credit: New York I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down//LCD Soundsystem





	new york, i love you (but you're bringing me down)

“I need you.” ****  
** **

Steve groans and sits up in bed, rubbing the sleep gunk from his eyes with the hand not holding his cell phone. A quick glance around the room tells him that it’s either very, very late or very, very early. It’s completely dark aside from the soft light of a dying street lamp through his curtains and the red glow of his alarm clock, which tells him that it’s four AM. It’s completely silent aside from his former lover’s breath on the other end of the line. ****  
** **

Steve has never been a fan of going to sleep after eleven PM or waking up before six AM. Something about how the combination of quiet and dark makes time bleed together - an unsettling synthesis of night and day - makes him uneasy. He knows it’s irrational, but he can’t escape the feeling that there are things he’d rather not see hiding in the darkest hours before the dawn. It’s one of the only things he feared long before the war. ****  
** **

The neon block numbers on his alarm clock draw another sound of discontent from deep in his chest. He wants to scream. The _one_ night he wasn’t having any nightmares, goddammit. That’s just his luck. ****  
** **

“That’s a stupid line, Tony,” he spits. “Just fucking lazy.”  
  
“It’s not a -” 

“It’s not a line? That’s bullshit, and you know it.” Steve takes a deep breath and tries to suppress the miserable clenching of his heart. He’s just grouchy about being woken up, and hearing Tony’s voice brings up feelings he’d rather not feel. He shouldn’t take it out on him. “Listen, we’ve talked about this. We can’t go back to normal, and it’s not healthy for you to call me whenever you’re lonely. ****  
** **

“Stevie, please, just listen,” Tony pleads. Steve flinches at the nickname. ****  
** **

“Don’t call me that,” he snaps. “I didn’t like it when we were together, and I don’t like it now.” There’s a brief pause where Steve tries to settle his unease. The joke should have come by now. He’s never heard Tony sound so serious, and he doesn’t like it. He needs to hear the punchline. The Tony he knows is quick as a whip, and he would never let Steve snap at him like that without saying his piece. He even thinks he hears a muffled sob, but that can’t be right. He’s known Tony for almost 8 years without ever seeing him cry. ****  
** **

“You promised,” Tony says desperately, and the fact that he’s crying is unmistakable now. “You promised you’d be there if I needed you.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can’t say why he’s apologizing, other than that he’s shaken. “I did promise. I’m here. What’s going on?” ****  
** **

“I’m in the hospital. Bellevue." ****  
** **

It’s far from the first time Tony has been hospitalized, but the phrase still sets Steve on edge. His earlier annoyance is replaced by a protective kind of panic. He’s already cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder, pulling on the nearest pair of socks. ****  
** **

“Shit, Tony. What did you get yourself into this time.” ****  
** **

“Oh, there he is.” For the first time since the call started, there’s a slight smile in Tony’s voice. “Please, Steve. I can’t talk about this over the phone. I really can’t; it’s been the worst night of my life. I didn’t know who else to call.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Just stay calm. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” ****  
** **

“Thank you, Steve.” Tony speaks barely above a whisper, and then he sniffles. “I’m sorry.”

And, really, that’s the most jarring thing he’s said. Steve has only heard Tony apologize one other time. ****  
** **

- ****  
** **

_It’s almost cinematic, Steve imagines - the image of the two of them. They stand on opposite sides of the conference room, staring each other down._ ****  
** **

_“Steve,” Tony pleads. “Please. If you don’t sign, I can’t stop them from putting you away, possibly for a very long time.” The unspoken message is very clear._ I can’t lose you. ****  
** **

_“If you didn’t want me to be arrested, you shouldn’t have signed,” Steve says coldly._ ****  
** **

_“The Accords would have been ratified with or without my signature,” Tony answers desperately. “You can’t blame me for doing something I believe in.”_ ****  
** **

_“I’m just going to run.”_ You’ll never see me again, _he doesn’t say. He doesn’t want it to be true, but it is._ ****  
** **

_“I won’t stop you.” Tony leans back against the glass, resigned. “I love you, Steve. I’m sorry it’s ending like this. I’m sorry I hurt you.”_ ****  
** **

_Steve thinks he waits too long to give his own apology. By the time he’s caught and placed under house arrest, Tony has left DC with nothing to show for their civil war but a broken heart._ ****  
** **

- ****  
** **

The five hour drive from DC to New York is hell for Steve. He can’t calm his nerves for a second, and the coffee he’s drinking just to have something to do with his hands isn’t helping much. What could have happened to make Tony cry on the phone? The Tony he knows is far too proud to show his emotions in such a raw way. He doesn’t cry, period. ****  
** **

Steve doesn’t want to entertain any of the possibilities. They’re all equally unappetizing. Was he mugged? Got in a car crash? Did he drink too much and get in a bar fight? That doesn’t sound like Tony, though, and it doesn’t explain why Tony called _him._ Why not Pepper? Rhodey? Happy? ** **  
****

In his tense state, Steve honks at many an innocent driver as he navigates the streets of Manhattan. When he finally parks in the crowded lot at Bellevue Hospital, he practically sprints to the front desk. ****  
** **

“Tony Stark?” he asks nervously, forgetting formalities altogether. “I’m here to see Tony Stark.” ****  
** **

The receptionist looks him over with a sympathetic - albeit starstruck - expression. He must look like shit, he realizes. ****  
** **

“They’re expecting you,” she says. “Have a seat. A doctor will be with you shortly.” ****  
** **

Steve nods dumbly and walks away from the counter. Instead of sitting, he just paces, too nervous to be still. The whole situation is stressing him out, and he never did like hospitals. They remind him of his childhood - of his ma and Bucky. ****  
** **

He’s jumpy as it is, and he practically jumps out of his skin when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He whips around to see a short blonde woman in green scrubs. She has kind brown eyes - big Bambi eyes, just like Tony’s - and he relaxes slightly. ****  
** **

“Steve Rogers?” she asks, and he nods. She flips through the papers on her clipboard. “I just have a non-disclosure agreement here for you to sign. It’s standard procedure for our more high-profile patients. I’m Doctor Holden, and I’m overseeing Mr. Stark’s care. He’s been asking about you, but I feel the need to warn you before you go in that he’s very distressed, and you’ll need to relax before I can let you in. I’d hate for you to upset him further.” ****  
** **

Steve hardly knows what to say. None of this sounds like Tony. ****  
** **

“What the hell happened?” he manages, dumbfounded, turning a few heads in the waiting room. He can’t wrap his head around it. ****  
** **

“Please keep your voice down. Mr. Stark was brought in around 3:45 this morning after his automated assistant contacted emergency services to report that he had attempted suicide by overdose.” ****  
** **

Steve is rendered stock still by shock. He has a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he can’t describe - the same feeling he felt when he watched Bucky fall from the train almost eighty years ago. It’s awful, sickening, gut-wrenching. He feels as though his insides are consuming themselves, and his heart has dropped to his knees. He just stares at Dr. Holden, speechless and nauseous, as he processes what she’s just said. _Suicide,_ he thinks, horrified, followed by, _Not my Tony._ He must be in hell. This cannot be real. ****  
** **

“He _what?_ ” Steve sputters, unable to say anything more. ****  
** **

“I’m sorry. I know this must be hard to hear. Why don’t you come with me?”  
  
Steve follows her numbly down a sterile white hallway and through a set of doors. He’s convinced himself that this must be a big mistake. _Not my Tony,_ he thinks, and then he thinks something much worse. _Oh, God. All the signs were there. The whole time we were together, they were right there._ ** **  
****

His heart crashes to the ground when Dr. Holden opens the door to a hospital room. ****  
** **

Tony is _wailing,_ writhing in a hospital bed that is far too sterile and too neat for that to be his Tony lying in it. He cries out, and Steve squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t bear to look at the red, angry lines down his cheeks or the tears pooling in his eyes. ****  
** **

_I’m a fucking monster,_ he thinks. _I did this._ ****  
** **

He almost turns and runs because it’s too much _too much too much,_ but he made a promise. This isn’t right. Tony’s chest heaves with panic under his blue hospital gown. He’s so stripped of his dignity like this, shrieking like a caged animal and thrashing like he’s trying to shake free of his own body. _Something is so wrong,_ Steve thinks, and he feels his own tears spill over. ****  
** **

Tony is clawing at his upper arms with savage, unfeeling fingers, nearly drawing blood, and this is enough to snap Steve out of his stunned state. He looks, teary-eyed, at the doctor for approval. As soon as she nods, he’s rushing over to the bed and using his hands to pin Tony’s wrists to the pillow. ****  
** **

“Baby,” he pleads, trying to keep his voice calmer than he feels. “Baby, shh, shh. Come on, hey. Try to breath, okay? I’m here. I’ve got you. Just breathe.” ****  
** **

- ****  
** **

Even after Steve’s successful attempts to bring Tony back to reality, he continues to stare emptily at the ceiling and shake like a leaf. He’s too exhausted to move, too sad and too nauseous to respond to any of Steve’s questions. He can’t believe he was selfish enough to try to kill himself when he still has so many wrongs to right.  _What would Yinsen say_? Still, he wishes he weren’t here now. This was supposed to be the end for him. It _feels_ like the end, so why is he still alive? Physically and emotionally, he feels like he’s dying - waves of gut-wrenching nausea and crushing despair washing over him. He could throw up any time, but there’s nothing left in his stomach. ****  
** **

And, _Jesus,_ he’s humiliated. What the hell was he thinking, calling Steve of all people? Deep down, he knows the answer. He may be a grown man - a Stark man made of iron - but at four AM in the hospital all alone and fucked out on codeine, he was scared. Pride be damned, Tony Stark was scared, and he needed comfort. He needed his Steve. ****  
** **

( _Not mine,_ he reminds himself with a heavy heart.) ****  
** **

But now, with Steve by his side, he wishes he had chosen to deal with this on his own like an adult. He’s just letting Steve win, because he was right all along. Tony is an immature, overgrown child. He is so embarrassed, but he can’t hold back tears as he begins to dry-heave over the puke bucket the nurses gave him. He feels the warm weight of Steve’s big hand on his back as foul-tasting bile burns up his throat as it convulses violently, and he’s never felt so goddamn sad in all his life. ****  
** **

Some part of him is relieved, though he’d never admit it, that he can be vulnerable for once. He’s never realized just how exhausting it is to maintain his public persona. Sometimes, the gimmicks for the press just drain the life out of him. ****  
** **

He’s been living his life the same way he always has: by turning everything in his personal life into a big, dumb joke for everyone to laugh or roll their eyes at. Then, he woke up one morning and realized he didn’t want to be alive anymore, and even he couldn’t turn that into a snarky remark for the press. ****  
** **

- ****  
** **

“Am I dying, Steve?” Tony asks weakly around eleven AM. “Can you ask Dr. Holden if I’m dying?”  
  
Steve smiles a little bit through misty eyes and squeezes Tony’s hand tighter. He protested when Tony tried to lace their fingers together. ****  
** **

_“Waffles are for lovers, Tony.”_ ****  
** **

And it made Tony sad, but also made him smile, because _‘waffles are for lovers’_ is something Steve picked up from him. He’s okay just holding hands pancake-style, because at least he gets to hold Steve’s hand at all. ****  
** **

“You’re not going anywhere,” Steve says fiercely. “Quit being so dramatic.” ****  
** **

“I’m not dramatic,” Tony protests. Steve laughs quietly before turning serious again.

“Tony, why did you call me? Honestly? Why didn’t you call Pepper or Rhodey?” he asks somberly. Tony looks at him sadly, trying to think of what to say. There was a time when Steve was his biggest supporter - when he could tell him anything. It breaks his heart all over again to realize that he feels the need to lie to him now. ****  
** **

“They’re both out of the country. Business,” he finally says, trying to keep his voice dispassionate. It’s not a lie, but it’s also not the truth, and they both know it. ****  
** **

“What about Happy?” Steve asks instead of calling him out. Then silence. “Don’t lie to me, Tony.” ****  
** **

“I needed you,” Tony whispers. “I didn’t need them like I needed you.” ****  
** **

“Tony, I know I seem like a pushover. I really do try my best to help everyone, and I will _always_ help you, but you can’t guilt-trip me like this. I don’t want to be with you,” Steve says, even though he knows that’s a lie. He will always want Tony. ****  
** **

“I don’t think you’re a pushover,” Tony says softly, earnestly. He’s taken aback by the accusation. “With an ego so over-inflated that you think I’d kill myself to make you want me back, I’d be stupid to think that. Just because your last boyfriend thought you were the pinnacle of virtue doesn’t mean I’m under the same illusion.” ****  
** **

“Don’t you dare bring Bucky into this!” ****  
** **

“Why shouldn’t I? He’s the reason I was never good enough for you!”

“That was never true, Tony. You know what? Maybe it’s not such a good idea for me to be here.” His eyes are even more wet with tears now, and he’s clearly trying to keep Tony from seeing them. He lets go of Tony's hand and stands up. ** **  
** **

“Whatever, asshole,” Tony hisses. “Just go, then. Maybe your next boyfriend won’t care that you’re still so hung up on your ex that you’ll defend him over everyone else, but I do care. Bucky’s dead, Steve. He’s _never_ coming back, and I’m glad I don’t have to play second fiddle to a ghost anymore.” ****  
** **

Steve whips around just as he reaches the door, and he can’t even think as he sees red. ****  
** **

“Maybe yours won’t care that you’re a self-absorbed, shit-for-brains drama queen that will never be more than the same alcoholic _slut_ that your father was. Or, better yet, maybe you’ll do everyone a favor and die before he’s unlucky enough to meet you!” ****  
** **

It’s dead silent for the longest time after Steve says it, and they both stare at each other in shock. It’s clear that Steve regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He’s never said _anything_ like that in his life, but he can’t take it back. Tony’s bottom lip is quivering, his eyes filling with tears, and he wants Steve gone. ****  
** **

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, horrified. “Holy shit, Tony, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. Oh, God.”

“Get out,” Tony pleads, trying as hard as he can to maintain the remaining shreds of his dignity. ****  
** **

- ****  
** **

Tony barely has time to recover after Steve leaves. He rushes to wipe his tears when the door opens again as if all the nurses didn’t see him in the midst of a total mental breakdown just four hours ago. The person who walks in is clearly not a nurse, though, and it’s not Dr. Holden. He groans when he realizes that this must be the shrink he vaguely remembers Dr. Holden mentioning earlier through his codeine haze. The man is taller than Tony, maybe six-two. He has black hair combed back and a kind face. He can’t be older than thirty, and he takes a seat where Steve was sitting not ten minutes ago. ****  
** **

“Anthony.” He reaches out to shake Tony’s hand. Tony shakes it and looks down, ashamed of the tears still welling up in his eyes. ****  
** **

“Sorry. Uh, it’s just Tony.” ****  
** **

“That’s alright, Tony. You don’t have anything to apologize for. My name is Nick. I’m a counselor for the inpatient program here at Bellevue, and I’m here to help come up with a game plan going forward. ****  
** **

Tony immediately panics at the mention of inpatient, and he gets the ridiculous urge to rip out his IV. _Chill out, Tony._ ****  
** **

“I’m not going inpatient,” he snaps defensively. “I’m an adult. I have responsibilities.” ****  
** **

Nick chuckles. ****  
** **

“Relax. We haven’t even been talking for a full minute. I have no way of knowing if you’d even benefit from inpatient treatment, although I would encourage you to keep an open mind. I’m just here to do an assessment and help you figure out how to manage any suicidal ideation you may be dealing with. Now, I’m gonna take a wild guess that you’ve never spoken with a counselor before?” Tony shakes his head. ****  
** **

“No,” he confirms. “I haven’t. I guess I never really suspected that I was the nut in my family. I s’pose insanity is one sneaky fucker.” ****  
** **

“I suppose it is,” Nick agrees. “Although I don’t think you’re insane, and it might be comforting to know that suicidal thoughts are incredibly common. Let’s just start with the basics. What do you do, Tony?” ****  
** **

“Oh, you haven’t heard? I’m the Merchant of Death. Head of R&D for Stark Industries.” ****  
** **

“Do you like your job?”  
  
Tony smiles genuinely, albeit weakly. ****  
** **

“Sure do,” he says. “I’m livin’ the dream.” Nick scribbles some notes on his notepad. “I’m sure you’ve already determined my fate?” ****  
** **

He doesn’t answer, and instead says, “What do you like about it?”  
  
“Well, I guess I’ve always been a natural at making things that blow up. I was born to fuck things up.” ****  
** **

“Do you live alone?”

“Are you hitting on me?” he asks mischievously. “Cause I’ll have you know that I’d expect a gentleman to buy me dinner first.” ****  
** **

“Sorry, I have a strict no dating policy for patients.”

“Well, damn,” he says. “All the good ones are unavailable. I do live alone, though, if you change your mind. Well...kind of. My friend Pepper stays with me sometimes. I rescued her from a boring job with Hammer Industries, like the selfless philanthropist I am. She’s the CEO of Stark Industries.” ****  
** **

“You also have a kid, don’t you? I’ve seen pictures of the two of you. What do you think would have happened to him if you died this morning?” ****  
** **

The question hangs between them, and Tony sobers almost immediately. ****  
** **

“Oh,” he says, at a loss for words.

“Yes.” Nick nods. “Oh, indeed.” ****  
** **

“I’m not his dad. He lives with his aunt. He’d be alright.” ****  
** **

“Maybe that’s true, but I’m sure he’d miss you. Tell me how you felt leading up to your attempt.” ****  
** **

“I’m no two-cent whore. I don’t talk feelings ‘til the fifth date.”

“Do you want to be stuck feeling like this forever, Tony?” Nick asks, and that only draws silence from him. “That’s what I thought. You need to purge these feelings. It’s clear to me that you’re incredibly depressed. I can tell you have a lot of guilt, because you still define yourself and your company by a weapons division that was shut down over ten years ago, and if you never talk about it, you’re going to end up in this same position time and time again, and you and I both know that a hospital visit isn’t cheap.” ****  
** **

“I have plenty of money to burn.” Nick doesn’t say anything, and Tony sighs. “I guess I just felt hopeless,” he admits quietly, and he becomes frustrated when Nick doesn’t immediately answer. “I’m stuck. It’s like I’m in this fishbowl, and I can’t get out into the world and the rest of the world can’t get to me.” ****  
** **

“Why is that so scary for you?”  
  
“Because being stuck means I can never fix the things I’ve broken. I’ve ruined so many lives, and I know I can never make everything right. I know it’s stupid to try, but I have to.”   
  
“That’s not stupid, Tony, I promise. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think you desperately need to practice sharing how you feel, because the truth is that the only thing keeping you in that fishbowl is your inability to genuinely discuss your emotions. You don’t feel guilty because you haven’t done enough to repent for your past, you feel guilty because you’re being too harsh with yourself and you can’t talk to anyone about these feelings. I really think that an inpatient program would be a perfect place to practice those skills, but like you said, you’re an adult, and the choice is yours. If you really aren’t willing to be hospitalized, you’re going to need to do some really painful work within yourself, and you need to start seeing a therapist regularly. The only way you’re going to get better at talking about how you feel is by practicing.” ****  
** **

Tony thinks about it for a minute, and neither of them says anything. The idea of telling a stranger all of his feelings is terrifying, but he doesn’t want to feel sick like this forever.  
  
“Okay,” he finally concedes. “I’ll see a therapist.” ****  
** **

- ****  
** **

Steve leaves the hospital feeling angry. Mostly, he’s angry at himself, though he can’t help it if a not-inconsequential amount of anger towards Tony bleeds through. He wants to stay - sit in the waiting room and wait until Tony is discharged so he can make sure he gets home safe - but it’s a bad idea and he knows it. He shouldn’t be angry at Tony; it’s not fair. Still, he is, and he doesn’t want to risk saying something else he regrets. ****  
** **

And, _Christ,_ he regrets what he said. He’s a goddamn adult; he should be able to handle conflicts more maturely than this. What the hell was he thinking telling Tony to die while he’s lying in a hospital bed for trying to kill himself. He _knows_ he used to be a better person. When did he become so damn cruel? ****  
** **

He’s so livid that by the time he’s back in his car, letting anger consume him instead of forcing it back like he really should, his heart is racing and he’s seeing red. He sinks into the driver’s seat, slams his forehead against the steering wheel, and screams out loud. He screams so loud it almost overpowers his blaring car horn. He screams until his throat is raw and sore, and only when he stops does he feel the tears streaming down his face. ****  
** **

Nearly twenty minutes later, when Steve is wiping an embarrassing amount of snot from his nose and tears from his eyes, there’s a knock on the passenger window that makes him jump. When he looks up, he’s surprised to see Tony standing there. His face is neutral - such a perfect imitation of apathy that Steve would honestly believe it if he didn’t know any better - but his cheeks are puffy and red from crying. Steve unlocks the door, and Tony climbs in. ****  
** **

“I need a ride home,” he says. “I’d say you owe me.” ****  
** **

“Yeah. Buckle up.” ****  
** **

“You’re awfully concerned for someone who doesn’t care if I live,” Tony mumbles, but Steve hears the click of the seatbelt anyway. ****  
** **

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” Steve whispers. ****  
** **

“Believe it or not, I’ve heard worse. It’s fine. I’ll survive.” ****  
** **

“It’s not fine. It was childish and cruel,” Steve protests. He turns to face Tony, speaking earnestly. “You know I didn’t mean it, don’t you?” Tony shrugs, and Steve feels his lip wobble. He never could have imagined a day when Tony could doubt that Steve needs him to stay alive. “I should have never said that. We may not be together anymore, but you were my best friend. I still love you, and I would be fucking lost if you died. Do you know that, Tony?” ****  
** **

Tony turns away completely to hide his face, and Steve faces front again, staring blankly out the window. How did he allow things to get so fucked up between them?

“Whatever, Steve. I’m not exactly blameless,” Tony says, clearly embarrassed by the apologies. “It’s not important anymore. Just drive, okay?” ****  
** **

So Steve drives. He pulls out of the lot maybe a bit too sharply, but Tony doesn’t say anything. The silence becomes painful quickly, so Steve breaks it. ****  
** **

“They let you go too soon,” he blurts, then backtracks when he sees the dumbfounded expression on Tony’s face. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not my place. I just...I don’t think you should be alone. Do you feel safe? I don’t want you to feel sad and have no one around.” Tony smiles weakly, but it’s still sad. ****  
** **

“I’ll be okay, I think,” Tony says, but it’s not reassuring. Steve has never heard him sound so unsure. “You were right. I think it’s best if you’re not here.” ****  
** **

There’s nothing left to say, so they remain silent until Steve stops in front of Stark Tower. Steve looks desperately at Tony, and Tony looks emptily back at him. And fuck it; Steve _does_ miss Tony. He can’t stop himself from leaning over the console to kiss him. It’s over as soon as it starts, and Tony still has the same drained look on his face. ****  
** **

“I can stay if you need me to,” Steve says, but it’s clear that _he’s_ the one begging to be invited in. Tony’s face isn’t sad or angry, just puzzled.

“You know, Steve, I don’t think I understand you anymore. You used to just tell me when you wanted something.” He starts to close the door. “I was wrong to call you, and I’m sorry I dragged you back into my mess. I promise I won’t be alone, okay? I’ll call Happy. Just… Go home. Maybe I’ll see you in another life. ****  
** **

The door slams, and Steve feels his heart break all over again. Tony looks exhausted, even from the back, as Steve watches him leave. Horns are honking behind him, so he has no choice but to drive away, even though he made a promise to always be there when Tony needed somebody.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try writing an unhappy ending. I hated it and will never try it again lol I'm so sorry.


End file.
